The soft start

A soft start has three parts:

1. I feel… (the softer, underneath feeling — not the angry one) 2. When… (a specific, non-character-attacking moment) 3. I'd love… (what you actually need, framed as a want)

Example — hard start: "You never listen to me. You're always on your phone."

Soft start: "I feel a little lonely when we're in the same room and you're on your phone. I'd love ten minutes of just us before bed."

Same truth. Entirely different doorway.